Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go
I don’t know if it’s a typical gay thing, or a stereotype that’s been blown out of proportion, or what, but for some reason, every once in a while I get this weird drive to go be a go-go dancer. And I know I’m not alone: many of my friends have said the same thing, that it would be fun to do for a living. Sometimes it gets even more scandalous. We talk about being strippers, or rentboys, or having sugar daddies, or being escorts…it’s really astonishing how many professions there are that center around being young and attractive with implicit sex for money. But really, why? I’d bet someone else’s left testicle that straight men don’t get the same inclinations, and I can’t remember the last time a lesbian told me how badly she wanted to be a call girl. (Jury’s still out on straight women; maybe I should take a poll on the corner.)
Where does that drive stem from? Maybe it’s connected to the whole impression of gays-are-whores thing. Because let’s face it, 90% of gay men are faithless, fickle, and flirtatious, going from guy to guy like they’re sampling chocolates. Is it hardwired into the gay brain, or is it a self-reinforcing subculture where commitment = weakness and sex = scorecard? Either way, maybe the idea behind it is a need to feel sexy and beautiful, to make oneself as tarted up as possible, to sleep with as many people as possible as if this will justify your attractiveness and allure. And you have to do this because… I don’t know, not being accepted in your youth for who you were, you need to overcompensate in adulthood? And maybe go-go dancing and prostitution are even better, because then not only are you being admired for your body and appreciated for who you are, but you’re getting money for it as well. You must be really hot. Thank God club managers at least have a decent eye for their dancers, because if everyone who had this inferiority complex followed their desire and got naked onstage, we’d have some hideous sights to behold. (Why do unattractive gay men still have this drive to be a stripper, but really hot straight guys don’t? They don’t need to show off because society already loves them? It’s a mystery.)
Another thing I don’t get: tranny prostitution! You walk down to 12th and Spruce in the wee hours of the morning, and you’re bound to see Miss Thangs hanging out on the corners with 6-inch heels and enough makeup to paint a house. I have nothing against transvestites, and I know a couple who are very friendly and together; likewise, I have nothing against prostitution as an institution, and know a few escorts as well. But when their powers combine, I just don’t get it, almost as much as I just don’t get the fat ugly married old straight men that drive down Spruce Street cruising for them. I suppose that as a gay man, even though one feels that level of social outcastiness, one is still pretty well-adjusted. For someone who feels s/he should be dressing as a woman, there’s no hiding; if you want to talk about overcompensation, selling yourself for money to whoever’s willing to buy is just about as far as you can go for acceptance. Maybe I’m psychoanalyzing this too much, but after all, it’s just a theory. (But those old men are a whole different story…they either need to go home to their wives, or just suck it up and admit they’re gay, and get over it. My pity level for their confusion only goes so far before sleaziness just puts me off entirely.)
I do feel fortunate that I grew up in a fairly accepting household in a fairly accepting part of the country. Doesn’t mean I don’t feel the urge to get out there and strut once in a while, but it’s hardly a life calling. Besides, at 30, it’s all over, honey.
~~ PQ
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